The bumper sticker that saved me $90

by Natalie P.

January 30, 2008 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | 5 Comments

As some of you my know, The Bus and I have been dating for a while now, and for the most part, it’s my primary mode of transport to/from work.  My green granola friends are all thrilled that I am taking the environmentally sensible option (yes, cycling would be more friendly, but is downright impossible during the winter here).  But in truth, the reason I take the bus is because a) the drivers here are STUPID and at the end of a hard day, I find fighting downtown traffic to be aggravating in the extreme, and b) my work doesn’t pay for parking, which is about $8/day – the bus is $3.80/day.

That being said, there are times when I do need to take my car – running around in the east end of the city, boxes of stuff to pick up or ship – that sort of thing.

Last week, I had one of those days.  Things ran later than expected. I had a meeting at 1pm and I was rushing to get into the office. As I came into the city from a freeway off-ramp, I got tagged by a cop with a radar gun.

DAMN. 

I was doing 70km/h in a 50 zone when he tagged me. (it was one of those nasty zone-changes that goes from 80Km/h to 50Km/h, and he dinged me just as I was slowing down). It’s a $90 fine for 20Km/h over the limit.  And I haven’t had a speeding ticket in 12 years.  Ouch.

He walked up to the car, chuckling.

huh?

Somewhat mirthfully, he says, “You were doing 70 in a 50 zone.” 

Ok, I’m not used to a cop LAUGHING while giving me a ticket.

Unnerved, I replied, “Damn. thought it wasn’t 50 until up here – I pointed further ahead to the next zone sign.  I was slowing down for that sign.”

Still chuckling he said, “What do you do?”

I was puzzled.  “I work for a software company – down here in the market”, I responded somewhat hesitantly.

Laughing out loud now, “Where did you get that bumper sticker?”

I had to think for a second.  “That? Oh, at Carlingwood…. It’s TRUE though!  People here are TERRIBLE about tailgating. Drives me nuts.  When I saw that bumper sticker, I just HAD to get it.”

Barely able to contain himself he said, “I’m going to give you a warning this time. Just for that bumper sticker. Best laugh I’ve had all week.  You have a good day and slow down.”  And he went back to his car, still chortling.

The bumper sticker that had tickled his funny bone?

“If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.”

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5 comments so far
  1. "gunner" January 31, 2008 3:23 am

    good on you, and the cop too. some of them do have a sense of humour, i’ve met a few over the past million and some odd miles of driving everything from 18 wheelers to motorcycles, and been cut a few breaks i didn’t really deserve. now my daughter is going for her commercial license, following dad’s footsteps again.
    “gunner”

  2. Angeline January 31, 2008 10:35 am

    Good’ol Carlingwood… from Control Wear I assume? (their stuff cracks me up).

    Ohman, that’s funny. And congrats on saving yourself $90. I bus everywhere too because of the bad traffic downtown and it’s faster in general (especially with the Transitway, whoo!) But having a car is useful too… we haven’t had one in 7 years and I’m really feelin’ it.

  3. Natalie P. February 1, 2008 2:16 am

    Yes, from Control Wear, who, btw, had the most hilarious Hockey T-Shirt.

    Being an ex-torontonian, the bf is still, sadly, a Leafs fan. So we all love to give him a hard time about it. Control Wear has a T-shirt that reads:

    My two Favorite teams:
    #1 The Sens
    #2 Anyone who beats the Leafs

    heartlessly,
    -Natalie

  4. Kimberly February 6, 2008 10:37 am

    Bahahahahaha!! Hats off to ya Natalie! That bumper sticker reminds me of my very good friend who advised a dude to “smack her ass and pull her hair!” Yep.

  5. Sharon O'Brien February 21, 2008 11:58 am

    i have the same bumper sticker & often catch people in my rearview cracking up. not sure if it’s ever gotten me out of a ticket or getting pulled over, though!


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