Chipmunks, Campfires and Zombies, oh my!

by Natalie P.

August 7, 2007 | Filed Under Parenting, Popculture, Random Silliness | 6 Comments

My oldest son has now finished his second year of that fine Canadian rite of passage: Tree Planting.  He arrived late Sunday night, and early monday morning we drove up to the cottage.

Me: “Isn’t that a cute little church? I just don’t get why there is a church and graveyard out here in the middle of nowhere.”

Him:”Oh no. A cottage. I forgot. You know that that means?  ZOMBIES.”

Me:”Zombies?”

Him:”Yes. They ALWAYS get you at the cottage.”

Later that night as we were down by the water with flashlights looking for this enormous old snapping turtle that sometimes comes out a night…

Me:”I wonder what’s making noise over there?” (I shine the light towards the neighbors) “It’s probably just chipmunks. But maybe it’s zombies.”

Him:”Well, it can’t be zombies. They always moan. Ohhhoaaaahohhhhhhh.”

Me:(shining light on the treeline across the bay)”What if Zombies started coming out of the woods right now, just as I’m shining a light on them?”

Him:”That’s the point in the movie where you just book it back to the car, and barely make it in time – you slam the door and zombies are crawling all over it while you hit the gas.”

Me:”Hmmmm. I don’t even know where my car keys are right now.”

Him:”Shit.”

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6 comments so far
  1. Jesee August 8, 2007 3:53 am

    Zombies?

    Here in Oz – we have soap eating dingos. I’m still waiting to see one blowing bubbles out its backside.

    We also have hoop snakes and drop bears. Just like zombies. And that evil wolf creek guy.

  2. "gunner" August 8, 2007 8:04 am

    “Me:”Hmmmm. I don’t even know where my car keys are right now.”

    Him:”Shit.”
    ———————–
    This is the point were you begin intensely regretting your lack of a good reliable 12 gauge shotgun, (which, contrary to popular myth, is not “too much gun for a woman” and is excellent zombie medicine.)
    “gunner”

  3. Natalie P. August 9, 2007 12:23 am

    Funny you should mention shotguns…

    He raided some old boxes upstairs, looking for his super NES and original Nintendo (both of which he found), and at the same time located an old aluminum baseball bat. “Hey, this is a good bat. What did you keep this around for? Protection?”

    “Would it be good against zombies?”

    “Nah. They’d overpower you in no time. The only good defence against zombies is a shot gun and lots of ammo or a chainsaw.”

    I have been looking at a nice compound crossbow lately, but I suspect it wouldn’t do me much good against zombies. Maybe I should consider a shotgun instead.

  4. "gunner" August 31, 2007 6:28 am

    natalie,
    apologies for not answering sooner, even retired i seem to be busier than ever. i’d say “yes” to both the bow and shotgun. both require skills worth developing and the shotgun can help with not only zombies but goblins that come in the night. i’m not a bowman but it looks like an interesting sport and can feed you, if necessary, without drawing attention to loud noises. as well it’s good for arm and upper body strength.
    “gunner”

  5. "gunner" August 31, 2007 6:30 am

    jesee,
    wot, no bunyip?
    “gunner”

  6. Natalie P. August 31, 2007 8:36 am

    I’m thinking compound crossbow. I’ve been enamoured with the idea ever since I saw J-Lo with that gorgeous one in “The Cell” where she says that infamous line, (as she uses the crossbow), “No. My world. MY rules.”


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