Right to Choose

by Natalie P.

July 24, 2007 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | 6 Comments

Today I received an email from a reader, Kevin, stating:

Why do we care so much about life
When we do so little for the living.

I thought of this when I saw a lame “Right to Life” ad posted on the San Francisco BART stations.
That kind of religious didacticism doesn’t belong on PUBLIC transportation.
I felt no qualms about defacing the sign… some babble about if we care so much about life, then why do we send soldiers to Iraq to die, I wish I wrote the above lines instead (it keeps the issue to the issue in question and doesn’t bring the baggage of another).

It’s been on my mind far too long without actually sharing it.

Thanks

Kevin

A very good point and one I concur with (though I’ve not been moved to deface posters, I share the sentiment). 

I wonder, how many of those antiabortionists (I refuse to use the term “right to life” – if anything it should be called “right to impose my twisted religious beliefs on others”) have adopted a crack-baby? How many have raised a child with cerebral palsy? How many helped the welfare mom get enough food to feed her family? 99% of them are fucking hypocrites.  If they care so much about “life”, you’d think they’d focus their time, money and energy on helping the drug-addicted, sick and disadvantaged children who actually did get born and are now living in hellish conditions. If the life of a child born to a mother addicted to heroin is so damn precious, why aren’t THEY the ones raising that child and seeing that it has a reasonable future? It’s just so much easier to go out and carry a sign once or twice a year, or put your money into a campaign that puts posters up on subway walls, or harass people going in and out of abortion clinics for a few hours each month. Practically effortless by comparison. It’s a fuck of a lot harder to actually raise a child who was born to a mother whose circumstances (or religious zealots) forced her to have a child she didn’t want, can’t afford and quite possibly can’t adequately care for. 

And don’t even get me started on the people who know they carry the genes for a debilitating and horrible disorder that will cause a child to suffer and die an early death, and yet go on to have multiple children. I’m not talking about the kinds of hereditary things we all have to some degree and may strike as we get older – things that are livable, manageable and even possibly avoidable with good diet and exercise. I’m talking about those things that cause a child to suffer from the day that he or she is born.  I remember being incensed by a program that highlighted a woman who had not one, but TWO children with some rare disease that puts them in chronic pain and they basically die before the even get to school age.  After having one child suffer through that, she went and had a second. Deliberately. How selfish is that?  How HEARTLESS is that?  To bring a child into the world knowing that most of its short life is going to be one of suffering?  I would never take the chance.  

Our society in North America is obsessed with quantity of life at the expense of quality.  More is not always “better”.  Where does the quality of the child’s life come into consideration in the antiabortionists mind if a woman is forced to carry to term? How about the quality of the mother’s life?  Does her life count at all?  And how many AIDS patients and others with debilitating illnesses are not only dying but suffering unbearably because they can’t afford the drugs or treatments necessary to treat their diseases?  We deny dying patients the medication that would keep the pain-free because of our fear of “drugs” (heaven forefend that a terminally ill person should get “addicted”!), keeping people alive, and SUFFERING long past the point at which they themselves would like to have peacefully died. 

That won’t be the case for me. When the times comes, I am wandering out into the snow to die peacefully in my sleep, long before I get so decrepit that I’m in “Depends” and drooling into a cup in an old folks home.  (The original plan was to step in front of a bus, but people pointed out it would be unnecessarily traumatic for the driver and his passengers. There might even be little kids on the bus. I’m heartless, but I’m not THAT heartless.)  And if it comes down to pulling the plug or signing that “Do Not Resuscitate” order because I’m permanently incapacitated, everyone knows my wishes, and my oldest has already said, “No problem. I’m there for ya mom.” 

Thank goodness the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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6 comments so far
  1. The Jenn July 24, 2007 4:53 pm

    I’m with you 100% on this, and I have to say it’s great to finally see that someone else has the same opinion on this as I do! I have decided to never bear children because of all the stuff that’s hereditary in my family — diabetes, mental illness, cancer, autism, etc. Yeah, one or even two of those are manageable and somewhat preventable, but judging from the number of conditions each member of my family develops, we also have a genetic predisposition to the Darwin Bitch-Slap Enchilada Plate.

    I’m not putting my kids through that. When/If I’m emotionally and financially ready to start a family, I will adopt instead. In the meantime, I have to deal with morons who don’t understand why I don’t want to breed and think that because I don’t want to “have my own” that I’m somehow anti-child . . . even though at company functions I’m one of the few indulging the kids with attention and intelligent conversation . . . and getting invitations from six-year-olds to come home with them because they think I’m so cool to hang out with . . . *sigh* Anyone else have to deal with that? How do you handle it?

  2. Momo July 26, 2007 3:11 pm

    Amen. Those anti-abortionists oppose killing fetuses, but the don’t care one iota once the kid is out of the womb. Somehow, it’s sin to quickly prevent a life, but all right to allow a child to suffer a lifetime of pain and neglect. I only know anti-abortionist in the world whom I respect. He, however, has walked the walk as well as talked the talk, and has adopted three special-needs children. I don’t agree with him, but he has done much more than just picketing and handing out bloody brochures.

    I’m studying to be a nurse, and some people are horrified by the fact that I support euthanasia and abortion. They squawk, “You’re a nurse, you’re supposed to be compassionate!” Uh, I am compassionate. Hearing a terminal cancer patient drowning in his own mucus because he’s too weak to cough it up makes me want to put ten packaged shots of Demerol in him. Seeing a toddler full of needles and tubes who cannot even gain comfort from her mother’s touch (often, parents are asked to hold their children to comfort them so the kid won’t thrash around too much when they’re getting procedures done, therefore the mommy = more pain association is ingrained into the kid’s mind) makes me wish that the poor child had been prevented. I believe in quality of life. In fact, while it is against nursing ethics to commit euthanasia, our code deems it appropriate to promote comfort measures even if it may shorten life (i.e. giving morphine even though it might put a terminal patient into respiratory arrest).

    When I get old, I’m going totter downtown in my walker to buy a lethal dose of heroin, and give myself a hot shot. I hear that it’s the best way to die, letting the endorphins take you over until you forget to breathe. Fuck pooping my pants and festering in my bedsores, I’m going to go out like Maude from Harold and Maude. I have made it perfectly clear to those around me that if they try to prolong me past any hope of a decent future, I will come back as a ghost and exact my revenge. If I’m too stupid to do it myself, they are to let me take a bath while playing with a hair dryer.

  3. Barbara July 26, 2007 5:37 pm

    Brilliant post!! I ‘m 22 and I have also decided on not having children. I ‘m from Haiti and there so many children beggars on our streets. Why not make their lives better before worrying about unborn children. I fucking hate these self righteous bastard.

  4. Violet July 27, 2007 8:13 pm

    Personally, I’m fond of the term “Forced-Birth Advocates.”

  5. Angela July 28, 2007 10:12 pm

    What fucking blows my mind, is that if the anti-abortionists get their way, we will go back to back alley abortions. These back alley abortions would result in infection from unsterilized instruments and severe blood loss. So, basically, pro-lifers want to go back to a system where the baby AND the mom are killed!

    Doncha just LOVE these people’s logic (or lack thereof)?

  6. Val July 29, 2007 9:14 pm

    We have to pretend not to see the real issue because we are not supposed to see it; it would be denied. So we must argue all around it – still good arguments. The real issue is being threatened by women who can have sex without pregnancy. (Like men!) Women who are not controlled by fear of being “punished’ with pregnancy are a threat to anyone who wants people controlled, desexed and living in fear. There is no other explanation that makes sense, to explain why anti-choice people are also often against contraceptives. Control of women is the only motive that explains this insane contradiction. Apply the same motive to people against STD treatments: the insanity of not valuing women’s health and lives can not have a sane motive.


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