There ought to be a test

by Natalie P.

July 15, 2008 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy, Parenting, Social idiocy | 6 Comments

The more time I spend around the “general public”, the more I become convinced:  the herd needs culling.

I’m not kidding.  The gene pool is seriously polluted.  But then, dear readership, you already knew that, or you wouldn’t be a fan of this site.

Since modern science has interfered with Darwinian natural selection, I think we need to interefere further and impose a parenting test on all prospective parents.  If for no other reason than to protect innocent kids from being born to utterly self-absorbed morons.

One thing that made my blood boil this past week was people taking babies and very young kids to Bluesfest, with NO hearing protection.  Kids have much more sensitive eardrums. Everything is still growing, AND they have no choice or knowledge about how to protect themselves – they rely on their parents to do that.  Any reasonably intelligent adult should know this. 

A typical rock concert has music in the range of 100-125 decibels. Bluesfest was no exception.  They were measuring noise in the range of 55-65 decibels over a kilometer away from the site.  I rarely go close to the stages because it’s just too loud. But anywhere on the grounds with a child is still going to be exposing them to unacceptably high noise levels unless they have adequate hearing protection.

The worst was the couple with a (probably 8-week old) baby, who were decked out hemp clothing, probably ate all organic food, would likely breast-feed the kid till he was in college, and yet had him by the main stages with nothing more than cotton stuffed in his ears.  The bf worked for a large manufacturer in the past. I asked him if they would allow the staff in the plant to use cotton balls for “hearing protection” in an area with 90+ decibels of noise.  He snorted in disgust. 

Honestly, these people are too STUPID to be allowed to breed!  I’m beginning to think that for the protection of the kids, they should refuse parents entry who do not have adequate hearing protection for their kids.  It’s illegal to take a child out on a boat without a life preserver or drive them around in a car without a seatbelt. It should be illegal to take them to a rock concert without hearing protection. 

In truth, for the babies under 2 years of age at least, it should be illegal to take them to an adult music festival or concert, period, because apparently people are too STUPID to know better. 

Pregnant women past 20 weeks expose there foetus to potential hearing loss (and themselves to premature labour) if they go into highly noisy environments as well.  If you plan on carrying that baby to term, don’t go to a rock concert or festival past the first trimester.

Here’s the deal people – you CHOSE to have a child.  DEAL with the responsibility that entails, AND the sacrifice.  Like a movie theatre, or a play, a concert is NOT a place for a baby. If you can’t afford the sitter, you can’t afford to go. It’s as simple as that, so suck it up. You have to learn to an important concept that you should be teaching your kids: DELAY OF GRATIFICATION.  It’s a concert. There will be another one.  You can see the movie on DVD.  Save up the few extra dollars for a sitter for that play, or trade baby-sitting with a neighbor.

You won’t be able to do all the same things you did when you were childless, so just accept that fact and be a fucking ADULT about it.  Be the PARENT your child needs you to be.  And if you aren’t ready to assume that responsibility and change your lifestyle it’s quite simple: DON’T FUCKING BREED.

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6 comments so far
  1. sarah July 15, 2008 9:06 am

    You think rock concerts are bad, try going to a truck pull or drag race…I’ve been at both and seen clueless knuckle-dragging mouthbreathers with infants and toddlers who were wearing no hearing protection. I felt so sorry for those poor children. Some of them were crying or screaming and I can only surmise it was because their poor little ears were being ripped to shreds.

  2. "gunner" July 16, 2008 9:10 am

    “Hear, hear!” after a working life spent around high powered engines, small arms fire and other high level noise i can only agree with you. adults may make choices, even stupid ones, but infants don’t get to choose what they’re subjected to by their “caretaking” adults. for myself i fail to understand the charm of “music” played at full throttle jet engine noise levels. at age 72 i treasure what hearing i have left.
    “gunner”

  3. bunyip July 17, 2008 8:28 am

    I understand what you’re saying but I suspect your wish is futile.

    Stupid enough to get pregnant without planning for it => too stupid parent responsibility. Probably too stupid to think about the consequences of their actions, or figure out how to use birth control successfully.

    Sometimes I think that anyone who fully understood the consequences of having children – financially, time wise, psychologically, pain wise… would never do it. But this doesn’t explain why some choose to have more than one child. It does explain why stupid (? or poor) people have more children than smart (and affluent) people.

    Yikes – my prejudices are showing.

  4. bunyip July 17, 2008 8:30 am

    Why do spelling “misteaks” only show up after you hit submit? Sorry about that.

  5. Holly November 13, 2008 3:23 pm

    Thank you for this post. I just wrote a horribly pissed off email about the ‘how to create an evil stepmother’ rant. It disgusted me & everything written in this one I totally agree with. Not sure how many different people write these things, but I most definitely agree with this one & am happy to see something decent on this site as apposed to that evil stepmother article.

  6. Janel January 11, 2009 9:47 am

    I love it. I can’t tell you how much I’ve screamed about the same issues. It boggles the mind how the general public seems to think of their children as life accessories instead of actual human beings with rights and feelings of their own.


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