Bitchitorial

Dec 8th, 2003

This week's guest Bitchitorial Editor is JadeSyren, providing a little Heartless "Advice"...

Dear HBI,

I have not yet signed on to be a member of HBI because I feel I don't have the experience needed yet. But I need some help from people who know how to handle what my sister is going through.

Try the professionals in your area.

A little background: I'm 20, in college, she's 16, in high school. She's really a wonderful person,

Well, you're her sister. You're supposed to say that.

she had a rough year back when she started high school, she drank and tried weed and all that, but she's fairly normal I suppose. She "messed around" with a couple of boys, but has never had sex. Gynecologically verified, in case you're wondering.

No. I wasn't wondering. It's invalid, anyway. My aunt had anal sex to preserve the illusion of her virginity. I don't think your sister did this, but it's very "ewww" that you've got the gynecologicial seal of approval.

So the story begins with one of her boyfriends in 9th grade; this little asshole bragged to his friends that she was whipped and his kids dad, who was also the Resource Officer at the high school came up to her once and said in front of a lot of her friends that he heard she was "on my sons nuts." and various other lewd comments, obviously, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, etc. etc..

One of those jokers, eh? What is this guy doing at a High School if he speaks to the children in an improper way? Where's your parents, and why aren't they filing a complaint against this guy?

That relationship, thankfully, didn't last long.

It should have ended when he FIRST started lying. However, considering her experience level, I'd have to say this is how she learned.

She's a junior now, older and wiser, she's started going to a church of her own choosing and has become stronger because of her faith. I don't say that because my family is very religious, we're not, I say that because she knows what her priorities are, she works hard, she does good things for other people and she stays true to herself. She becoming a competent woman with more than her fair share to contribute to society.

She should work on her self-esteem. I hope she can find that in her church. Considering the fact that her taste in men runs to losers, I'd advise that she stop dating until she can sort that out. I think a member of her church (or the sect) would be a better choice for her if she is happy there.

She hasn't had a boyfriend for a long time, but recently, she called me up at school, excited that a guy she had liked for a while wanted to go out with her. He gave her his class ring and all that and it seemed like a good change for her, someone who actually cared. But as things often go, five days later, she called in tears and said he'd broken up with her.

Well, there's the problem. The person who cares for your sister should be YOUR SISTER. It sounds as if she's not whole unless she can find someone to love, and THAT is just not TRUE.

The little prick from 9th grade had decided to tell not only her new boyfriend, but first the whole baseball team and then the rest of his friends, that he had slept with her and that she was really slutty.

Do she live in Podunkville? Has NO ONE seen Porky's? This kid must have a 20 in his persuasion skill to convince all these people that he slept with her. This is one of the OLDEST lies in the books.

Besides. How does sleeping with ONE guy make her slutty?

The new boyfriend, obviously not what he pretended to be, broke up with her and sent a NOTE, that's right A NOTE, telling her he couldn't go out with a whore.

Good riddance, then.

So, in the interest not only of my sister, but of all womankind,

All womankind wasn't affected here.

I need to bring these two young gentlemen down to earth and to the reality that a small penis doesn't make it OK for you to do that to someone's reputation. I guess what I'm saying is, I want the karmic justice to be leveled my way.

It is already. These people are colossally stupid. Teach your sister to set her goals higher.

The universe might be too easy on them. I've considered legal avenues, slander and sexual harassment, as well as guidance counselors and the principal.

Why don't you start with the school board? If what you say about that Resource Officer is true, he's begging for a pink slip.

Considering his father is a policeman, I think this might prove difficult and let's face it, her high school probably won't give a shit.

So why should we? Why should anyone?

So, what's a heartlessly bitchy way to deal with this?

There's ALWAYS a Heartless Bitch solution.

MY (Jade's) way of dealing with this when I was just a little younger than her was to reveal that he was a jilted lover (yeah, but I said that "I dumped HIS ass, and he's all pissed because I did.")

He did the same thing, practically, so I nuked him. I told our friends (when he came up to me to tease me about how I was a slut) that I tried to give him some, but he was a bigger pussy than I was offering.

I'm sure that there are other ways to say this. My way was direct confrontation and questioning in front of the witnesses at the time. Denying that you didn't sleep with him only makes you look like you're the liar. I'd ask him questions to see how far his imagination could go, punching holes in his big lies.

It sounds like she may have been a bit indiscreet, so she shouldn't bother to deny that. I'd have said, "So what, I sucked your cock--it was no BIG deal."

She'll have to find her own way to deal with an idiot like that, but he did her a favor. Now she knows how stupid these jocks are.

The ONLY response (to me) for a father who says that a girl is "up on his son's nuts," is to tell him that with the size of his dick, ANY position would be "up on his nuts," and that it must be genetic.

I got into a LOT of trouble as a youth for my mouth.

Or is it impossible? Should I be trying to tell her to keep her head up and not let it get to her, or should I hand out pamphlets with his name, address and telephone number that say he has genital warts and 3 in. penis? Should I call a guidance counselor and risk the harassment getting worse when he gets in trouble? I'm totally frustrated over this and I need some sort of Bitch-to-the-Rescue service or something.

This is your SISTER'S problem, and you really can't save her. I'm a big sister, too, so I know your pain. All you can really do is help her figure out what SHE can do (and maybe somewhere in there you can help WITHOUT training her to constantly depend on you to get her out of her messes).

If you have any thoughts, or even if you want to put me in Weak of the Week, or on the hurl-inducing list, it's OK, I just don't want this to send her backwards to insecurity and caving to peer pressure, she's come too far.

She's still caving into peer pressure. That's a tough road to walk for you. Even telling your sister that she SHOULD listen to you would mean that she's NOT listening to HERSELF. Did she ask you to talk to us? Is she even asking for your help? It's hard to watch your loved one suffer, but sometimes you just gotta let them live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Be there for her, watch out for giving her unsolicited advice (and big sisters have a way of making advice sound like DO THIS RIGHT NOW), and help when she asks (but don't do it FOR HER, just WITH her).

If you just have advice on what to say, that's fine too, I realize full-fledged revenge might be unreasonable. It just makes me feel better to think about it.

A dollop of common sense is best here. Talk to the officials at the school and let them know of this cop's behavior. No matter if she is the Queen Slut, his commentary is just unacceptable, especially considering his position. I'd advise that she quit avoiding him (if she is) because that will only prolong the torture. Bullies need to be shut down, and that right quickly. Standing up to him should turn the trick. Chances are great that he's an idiotic liar, and will be caught if cornered. If that's not her cup of tea, then her response to all of this could be NO response (see the movie The Contender, or A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries). Look at that gaggle of idiots and tell them it's THEIR LOSS. Another possibility would be to ask him if he is such a loser that the only way a girl WOULD fuck him is if she were a slut.

At this point, it appears that "just ignoring it" hasn't worked for her. She should probably stand up for herself, but she'll need some help finding the confidence to do that. As long as she perceives what she did as "wrong", she will be unconvincing in any attempts to defend herself. As her sister, the best thing you could do for her is to help her to accept her sexuality as normal, help her to understand that having sex does NOT make her a bad person. Remember, Eleanor Roosvelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Then talk to her about things she could do to make better choices next time... WITHOUT PREACHING

What's bothering me is that her new boyfriend called her a whore based on this guy's testimony. Had her new boyfriend fucked her already? High School just doesn't understand about sexual liberation, so if she's slept with him, then she's going to have to live with the consequences that SOME losers just won't get it. If she can't live with it, then she needs to learn about sexual responsibility, and she shouldn't be having sex until she does.

The other thing she needs to learn is that High School isn't forever. In a couple of years this whole incident just won't matter.

heartlessly,
-JadeSyren

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2003, All Rights Reserved

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