Socialized Stupidity: There IS a Cure!
Nov 27, 2006
A couple weeks back I was listening to "The Sunday Edition" on CBC Radio 1. Part
of the program had Dr. Joan Steitz, the Sterling Professor of Molecular
Biophysics and Biochemistry at Yale University School of Medicine (and
winner of the prestigious Gairdner award this year), and Dr. Indira
Samarasekera, President of the University of Alberta. They were
discussing women scientists and the distorted "conventional wisdom" or belief that
"boys are better at science and math, and girls are better at talking
and reading".
Some interesting points were raised about the realities vs the
perceptions of women's abilities in maths and sciences. They discussed an
interesting study completed at University of British
Columbia that concluded that women ranked lower on math tests when they
were told that men traditionally score higher on math. Women who were told that the perception of men being better at math was a
stereotype they can overcome, did better than those who were told men were better.
Time and time again, studies prove that our destinies are affected as much or more than our abilities by our own beliefs. Psychologists have long known (and many studies have shown) that if a child is told that he is stupid enough times, he believes it
and does poorly in school and other aspects in life.
It isn't a lack of
innate ability, but a pervasive message in our culture, that undermines
girls' success in math and sciences.
The CBC program entertained a lively discussion on why women don't go into the maths and sciences in university in the same numbers as men, despite the fact
that most universities are admitting more women (overall) than men these days.
The prevalent reason posited by the guests appeared to be a lack of female role models
in things like engineering professions and a lack of encouragement and
support for girls to enter what is seen as a non-traditional field.
While great strides have been made in medicine (apparently there are
more women currently being accepted into medical schools than men these
days), it hasn't been true for engineering, math and physics. Dr.
Samarasekera posited that women may approach problems differently than
men, but that they don't lack any fundamental aptitude. The host,
Michael Enright, commented that the two smartest kids in his grade
school class were girls. He wondered what became of them.
I have a theory...
You see in this whole nature vs. nurture debate, they
overlooked a crucial element: PUBERTY.
It's evil. You know it. I know it.
Hormones don't make teenage girls dumber - they make the girls ACT dumber. Because they are repeatedly told THAT is how to attract guys. They are also beat over the
head by a culture that says they need, above all else, to be ATTRACTIVE to be successful. I believe that at no point in our lives are we MORE susceptible to social pressures than in puberty.
Look at the television ads targeted at young women. Look at the TV
shows. I look at the membership applications from young HBI members, and
their applications are rife with frustration at the pressure society puts on girls to be
sexy, attractive, compliant.
Our biology, and our culture PUSH us to attempt to mate as soon we sexually
mature - and often before (i.e. thong underwear
for 7-year olds?!) . As a kid tries to navigate the often
treacherous world of high school and puberty, just trying to survive and
have a social group often becomes more important than grades. Teens have
a very short event horizon when it comes to seeing the future. Their
world is a very visceral one of here and now. And I think hormones make
everything seem far more important than it actually IS.
Sure, it's clear there are girls who never really try in math and
science because they get messages from the media, from parents, and even
from teachers, that girls aren't as good at those things as boys. But
even worse, there's that not-so-subtle message that girl's SHOULDN'T be
as good or better than boys at those things. Unfortunately, the message
repeatedly rammed down our throats, even today, is that women are not
attractive if they are smart. Smart girls are often made fun of and
ostracized. In movies and TV, they are dorky, wear glasses, and are physically
unattractive. The only way they "get the guy" is to get a makeover, lose
the glasses, and act like the other girls. (And the message always is, in the end, that
it is most important to "get the guy". Solving the crime, winning the prize - those are
almost always secondary.) In the rare case that a woman
IS smart in a movie and playing the lead, then she also has the figure
of a fashion model, and the guys aren't drooling over her IQ scores. Is
it any wonder that the brilliant top-of-the-class girl from grade school often
ends up with "average" marks in high school?
Besides the whole "smart isn't sexy" message, The prevailing message
that teenage girls get is, "What boy wants a girl who can kick his ass
at anything?" Fortunately it's not true for all men, but for a large
percentage, the male ego appears to be too fragile to accept a woman who
can match wits with, or even out-think him, never mind being physically stronger. Teenage boys (and too many
adult men I have met) are caught up in the whole male-competitive thing.
Too many guys think that if their girlfriend is better at something than
he is - especially something traditionally "male" - it somehow
diminishes HIM instead of bolstering and supporting him. The truth of
the matter is: it's NOT ABOUT HIM at all. Why is it that a woman is
supposed to be proud of her boyfriend's accomplishments, but a guy gets
the message he can only be proud of his girlfriend if she's exceptional
at something "traditionally feminine"? It's ok if she can bake a cake, or decorate a house,
but not so cool if she can tune a V8 till it purrs.
I had one partner (who's ass got kicked to the curb long ago), act like
an idiot because I knew more about a particular programming editor than
he did. (Emacs for you geeks out there). He had to learn it for work, so
I politely offered to teach him how to use it. Even though he had 7
years more programming experience than I did, it bugged him that there
was something I knew more about than he did. I was very polite and
encouraging in trying to teach him, but within 30 minutes he had behaved
so badly, I threw the primer at him and told him to teach himself, (and where he could put the primer in the process). And
that guy was 43 years old at the time.
Sadly and all too often it really is a case of teenage girls getting the
message that they should "play dumb", or they won't get a date. Not
unlike this
spoof on the subject.
And while we are on the subject, we can't ignore the fact that in many cases, the pressure for all this idiocy about appearance and conforming to the fashion trend of the moment is perpetrated by other girls. Starving yourself to drop a dress size is a lot easier than studying like hell and getting an A on that science project. Painting your nails and
going shopping is a walk in the park compared to getting 95% on a math quiz. So there becomes a vicious circle of women doing it to each other - conform to the ovine norm, or be ostracized at best, and publicly vilified at worst. But what they don't see is that it keeps us ALL down.
Ask yourself this:
- How can a woman with outrageously long fingernails do ANYTHING sensible (or compete on an equal level with a man) when she is constantly worried about breaking a nail?
- How can a woman run or defend herself if she is wearing 4-inch heels?
- How can a woman focus on improving her brain when she has to spend 3 hours a day on her appearance?
- How can a woman THINK when she is eating so few calories and carbohydrates each day that her brain can't function normally?
They don't need to make laws that keep women down and prevent equality. They just have to keep us preoccupied with ludicrous activities that distract us and keep us from learning, improving our brains, developing our physical strength, and
asserting our right to equality by simply being there in equal numbers. Unfortunately, too many women are still in front of a bathroom mirror, instead of a boardroom table, or a lab bench.
Yes, I think girls need more positive role models. I also think they
need messages that tell them that empowerment isn't ALL about how
much tits and ass you can show, and how many male egos you can stroke in
a day. I'm 100% behind women being in complete control of their
sexuality, but I'm tired of a media that has women so focused on
thinking that empowerment is about sex, when really it's about CHOICES
and being allowed to make them.
Girls, if you want REAL power, REAL respect, forget everything you see
in the popular media. Don't believe your appearance is more important than your brains. Don't play dumb. Don't pretend you aren't smart so some guy will like you, or some group of girls at school will accept you. Real friends - the ones worth having, want you to be the best you can be - they don't want to subjugate you. And the guys truly worth having actually LOVE a brilliant woman. Who wants a guy whose dick can only inflate when he feels superior? Anyone who would have you be something you are not -
like someone less smart than he is - isn't someone you should be wasting
your time on - no matter how cute or popular he is. And that goes for
friends too. Those cliques in school - the ones with the girls that
*think* they are bitches, but don't know the difference between a Bitch
and an Asshole? Well, in 5 years, they'll be eating your dust if you
stick to your principles, ignore them, and keep kicking ass in ALL your
subjects at school.
Don't be your own worst enemy. The moment you say, "I'm no good at X",
you WILL be terrible at it. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remember:
Empowerment isn't about how many guys you can have interested in your
ass, or what size of jeans you can fit it into - it's about how you use your brains to conquer obstacles and make a
difference in your own life, and in the world. "Being In Total Control,
Honey!" is about being in control of your own life and your own
decisions. The moment you dumb yourself down, or let others convince you
that you can't do something, you GIVE UP control to someone else. You
take a step on the path to being a SHEEP instead of a Bitch.
I'm going to tell you something heretical: It's MUCH easier to trade on
your sexuality and use it to manipulate men (and women) in order to get
others to do things for you, than it is to use your own brains and
brawn. But at the end of the day, deep inside, you'll KNOW you sold out
- you made a promise (overt, or implied) to deliver something - sex - in
return for the favors. In the long run you won't respect yourself, and
neither will the people you manipulated, or those who witnessed it.
If you are going to use sexual manipulation to get what you want, why not just become a prostitute, and at least you'll
be honest about what you are selling.
Being a Heartless Bitch is hard work. Taking a non-traditional path,
breaking boundaries, refusing to capitulate to someone else's idea of
what you should be - that's not easy. But in the end, you'll be able to
look yourself in the mirror (instead of spending hours fretting and primping in front of it) and truly respect and like the person you
see.
THAT'S what being a Heartless Bitch is all about.
heartlessly,
-Natalie
