JadeSyren is on a well-deserved break from BitchBouncing, though she will continue to do some Weak of the Week apps from time to
time. For this, I am forwarding her the worst applications from the reject bin,
and have taken over the role of BitchBouncer temporarily.
Despite warnings, EXAMPLES, and Jade riffing of the worst
applications in the Weak
of the Week, I am utterly amazed at the quantity of utter DRECK that still
arrives in the form of a membership application. Thank god we screen our membership.
I reject fully 75% of all the incoming applications.
I just updated the member application
page again, because people just don’t get it. I’m hoping that
some EXPLICIT instructions with BOLD letters will help stem the tide of appallingly bad applications, but I don’t hold out TOO much
hope. After all, we are
dealing with people who seem chronically incapable of READING or COMPREHENSION,
for that matter.
Never mind that I couldn’t, in my worst nightmares, imagine
inflicting someone on the BitchBoard who calls herself “Captian Bizznatchy
Bitchy-Boo” (including being unable to spell “Captian”). I mean, how could I allow in someone whose
one liner starts with, “If you've got noting intellegent to say”…? If you are going to bitch about other
people’s LACK of intelligence, then demonstrate enough yourself
to use a spell-checker, and actually READ what you wrote before submitting it.
I’m not looking for PERFECT grammar - just some semblance of
a complete sentence, with whole, comprehensible words (not
“chat-speak”) and god, please,
PUNCTUATION of some kind?
To make matters worse, it seems that a high proportion of people who write really bad applications,
feel the need to submit the same application, or several variants thereof,
MULTIPLE TIMES. A classic example of Einstein's definition of insanity enacted.
It’s clear that I’m going to have to develop the same kind
of psychic brain-balm that Jade has, to prevent viewing these things from
causing permanent brain damage. I
suspect the Weak of the Week was one of the ways she stayed sane over the
years. Lord knows, it left me in
hysterics each time she sent in a new set of updates. But those were only the worst ones. For each riffed application,
you can count 10 more mind-numbingly mediocre ones that just weren’t worth the
effort to riff.
Not that I wasn’t incredibly grateful in the past, but my recent
stint as BitchBouncer has developed in me a new found appreciation for Jade
(and the BitchBouncers that came before her), for suffering through these
applications and upholding the standards that have kept HBI a unique reservoir
of sanity. I now understand why
BitchBouncers need a break from time to time.
Keeping rampant stupidity at bay isn’t an easy task. Come home soon Jade!
Heartlessly,
-Natalie
