A couple of weeks ago, I took a trip out west to attend a wedding. I
couldn't afford much time off, so I went out just for the
weekend. I’m at the stage in my life where I graciously decline invitations to
weddings where I think the couple are a disaster in progress. Fortunately, in
this case, I could wholeheartedly support the union, and was delighted to attend.
The weather was gorgeous and the wedding was lovely, but the flight back was hell.
There was a couple with a young baby in the row behind me,
and a couple with a small dog in a carry-on case in the row in
front of me. Yes, you heard me. A DOG. The airlines seem to have this new
regulation that if the animal carry-case is small enough to fit under the seat in
front of you, you can carry it on. BUT, you can't take your pooch out to
pet it. Or to SHUT IT UP.
It’s bad enough when you have a screaming baby on a plane,
but this animal-in-the-cabin thing has created a whole new hell-on-earth (or perhaps hell-above-earth?) annoyance factor. The
stupid mutt YAPPED, and HOWLED, and BARKED the entire flight. The poor
thing was nearly hoarse by the end of it. The passengers were all on edge. The owners were on edge. The flight
attendants were on edge. To make matters worse, the baby behind me cried pretty much the entire time as well.
Probably because of the yapping, yipping dog.
My earplugs are rated to some bazillion decibel rating, but the dog’s
barking was at precisely the right frequency to zip right through them. To put the final touches on this miserable
flight, there was a snowstorm in Toronto which reduced the airport down to just
one operational runway, and so a flight which was supposed to be just 4.5 hours
was an interminable 6 hours of barking, yiping, screaming-baby aggravation. I couldn’t even concentrate to read, and
there was no in-flight music or movie to drown out the cacophony. The
plane was packed, so there were no other seats I could move to. I felt like I was in some kind of Kafka
nightmare with a generous dose of Twilight Zone thrown in for good measure. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had to
drive my car home from the airport when we eventually landed, I’d have gotten loaded,
since it seemed like the only available option.
I admit, I'm not a huge dog fan. There are few dogs in the
world I genuinely like. But what I dislike more than dogs, is the mentality of so
many dog owners in the world. Now before
you start writing me hate mail, protesting, note that I said "many", not ALL. It has been my experience that too many DOG
OWNERS, are completely and utterly
inconsiderate of other people. Like many parents of small children, they think
that their guests will be as enamored of their "darling" as THEY are.
They let their dog run up and jump all OVER you, even though you are wearing an
expensive suit or dress, and then make some passive gesture or yell at the dog
to stay "down", which, of course, the dog completely ignores. They
make no effort to train their pets to be socially acceptable, (or barring that LOCK them in another room!) and
think that their dog's annoying
behavior (like humping my leg) is somehow "cute".
And the whole lack of "scooping" thing makes my
blood boil. The amount of DOG SHIT I have found on my lawn is appalling. If I
wanted to scoop dog shit, I would HAVE A DOG!
And then there is the self-centered behavior that too many
dog owners have when walking their dogs along the bike paths in our city. We
have a LEASH LAW for a reason. There are DESIGNATED DOG PARKS where
you can take your dog and have it OFF the leash. The bike paths are NOT
one of those places. I actually feel sorry for the dogs, that their
owners are so UNCARING of them, that they would put their pet's life at
risk by letting it run loose on a path where bikes are zooming along
and can seriously injure them. I have stopped and berated/warned
more than one dog owner that if *I* ever hit their dog, not only will
it likely die or be severely injured, I will SUE THE OWNER for the
resulting damages to my bike and my body. I have been fortunate so
far, that I have been able to avoid the dogs that have jumped out from
bushes, or run unexpectedly across the path. But it's only a matter of
time before I hit one. There are just too many inconsiderate STUPID dog
owners out there.
But back to that oh-so-memorable airplane flight…
I just have ONE word for pet owners and parents who insist
on bringing their pets/babies on planes:
DRUGS
Not just for the consideration of the other passengers, (god
forbid you should consider anyone else), but for the sake of your child or pet
as well. For kids, in Canada, we have an over-the-counter anti-nauseant called
"Gravol".
Puts most kids out like a light. The babies are happier (their ears aren't hurting
on ascent and descent); the other passengers are happier, and the parents
can RELAX. This is especially important on late-night and red-eye
flights where some of us actually have to WORK the next day and need to
sleep on the flight.
And for dogs, well, if you insist on taking your beloved
pooch IN the passenger cabin, for FUCKS SAKE, use your HEAD - go to your
veterinarian first, get some doggie valium,
and dope the mutt up so that it isn't miserable and howling incessantly
the whole time. And Hell, if it doesn't work on the dog, make sure you get
enough to hand out to the surrounding passengers and they won't care as much
about your stupid annoying pet.
As for me, I’m investing in some noise-cancellation
headphones, because I have to travel a fair bit this year, and it’s clear that
I can’t count on other air travelers to act with common sense and consideration
for others, especially now that people are allowed to bring dogs in the passenger cabin.
Heartlessly,
-Natalie
