Bitchitorial
(The view from the Editor's Chair)
May 4, 2003
The BitchBoard these days seems to be suffering from a case of
Newbie-hoof-in-mouth, combined with a double-dose of Newbie-nicitus. A
recent round of newbies are caught up in defending each other and how they feel as opposed to presenting real information or verifiable facts.
When challenged, these Newbies often resort to cop-out defenses that amount to
"You are picking on me because I am new."
Newsflash: Long term members don't sit around on the BitchBoard looking
for newbies to roast. They challenge people to back up their arguments
with facts, and to stand by their "opinions" if they put them out there
for consumption. These Bitches have long memories. They don't take
kindly to trolls. They don't take kindly to people who make excuses or
disappear for months or weeks when scrutinized.
And they'll point out inconsistencies in a heartless-beat. If you open
your figurative mouth on the board, you'd better have something
intelligent and well thought-out to say. And you'd better not ask for
advice, nor abdicate responsibility for your choices in life, unless you
are looking for a walk over the verbal hot coals. With these Bitches you
will always know where you stand. Or Sit. Or lie bleeding on the floor.
It makes for an entertaining BBQ at times. You see, despite our best
efforts at membership screening, there is always the occasional loose cannon, masochist
or complete and utter flake that slips through the membership gauntlet and makes it on to the BitchBoard. Sometimes I see an application where the person is desperately trying to get membership because they think the BitchBoard is that Mecca wherein they
will find their "soul sisters". It is in those moments that I hear the
immortal words of Bugs Bunny saying, "He don't know me very well, do he?", as
I punt the app to the loser bin.
The BitchBoard has some GREAT topics, and some fascinating
conversations, don't get me wrong - It's a happening place and many Bitches have made some fabulous connections and friendships there.
But one
thing the BitchBoard ISN'T, is a Group Hug.
I know, you are thinking to
yourself, "Well DUH!", but you'd be surprised just how many newbies
don't get that. Nor do they read the VERY clear instructions on "How not
to make an ass of yourself on the BitchBoard" (Otherwise known as "The Heartless Bitch Challenge" by Roethke).
Some members have been posting on the board since its inception ( 7 years ). They know
the place and they keep it real. The Bullshit tolerance level is so low as to be
non-existent, meaning that some postings (and thereby the posters who
try to defend their weak positions) are not very well received. Unfortunately
there are always those few who don't seem to have ever heard the old cowboy adage: "When ya find yerself in a hole, the first thing ta do is STOP DIGGING."
Ultimately, many of those who can't figure out how to regain their
credibility go on to decide that we are all just an evil, mean and horrid
clique, and join what we affectionately call, "The Burnt Newbie
Underground" - a secret society of HBI members that made fools of
themselves and then went on to whine about their crispy experiences on other
discussion forums or journals. Yes Virginia, there IS a SAMOTURE*, but despite your
protestations to the contrary, it's primary mandate isn't to single YOU out and
make you look like an idiot on the BitchBoard - you did that to yourself.
The SAMOTURE found it so funny, that I created a T-Shirt at our
CafePress Store, that reads "Burnt Newbie Underground - I got Bar-B-Qued
on the Bitchboard and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt".
For those newbies who don't have the history with the board -
note that even long term members can get themselves grilled and lightly seasoned
if they start exhibiting questionable behavior and then attempt to vigorously defend it.
Tenure does not equal immunity.
These things are very cyclical (probably fascinating for a sociologist),
so right now I suspect we have a number of newbies very close to joining
the BNU. Some of the indefensible arguments are getting so ridiculous,
Jade suggested we should run a poll on the Board (and if I had
the time, lord knows, I'd do it), to let members vote for the most
Clueless Newbie. Kind of like getting voted off the Island, except you get to
stay and wear the Idiot Tiara* for as long as you insist.
Harsh? Heartless? Absolutely. But I ask, what site are you reading right now?
I rest my case.
heartlessly,
-Natalie
* "Idiot Tiara" courtesy of Fabulana's wickedly barbed wit.
* SAMOTURE - Self-Appointed Member Of The Unseen Ruling Elite
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