Bitchitorial
(The view from the Editor's Chair)
June 2nd, 2003
Let me tell you how great it is to see the '70s here again. With it, and
the fashions it has resurrected, we may be closer yet to equality than
one ever thought possible. At least when it comes to women exposing rolls of
flesh. I'm trying to recollect which comedienne said,
"We will have true equality when a woman can walk down the street fat
and balding and still think she's sexy."
Hell, as near as I can tell, the return of the "Hipster" pant has done
it. More and more women are cramming themselves into these delightful
remnants of bygone days - and they do look like they were made out of
remnants. Ironically, these pants were designed for women with NO hips,
and as Kevin Taylor (a magazine shop proprietor who specializes in old
back-issues of Playboy) said of "hipster" pants in a recent MACLEANS1 article on gender, "You have to
be built like a guy or they don't look right. It's interesting where we
are going, everybody is going to end up being one sex."
Well if low-riders are the hallmark, then that "One sex" is going to
look like an overweight plumber with love-handles the size of Texas and
a butt-crack to match. Hell, some of those pants even expose pubic fur if you
aren't inclined to shave yourself bald as a 12-yr-old.
One thing Low-rider jeans have encouraged, is for women to let it all
HANG OUT, so to speak. Men have long held the belief that they can take
their shirts off, oblivious to their pillsbury-doughboy physiques, or
have the love-handles rolling out over top of their pants, with no
self-consciousness. Now it's womens' turn.
Girls and young women now have flesh hanging out in ROLLS, over the tops
of hipster pants. And many of these young women now wear crop-tops to further enhance
the effect and expose even more. For many it's not like they are even
fat - it's just the cut of the pants that makes it seem that way. And
they seem just as oblivious as men are about these things. They seem
comfortable with themselves. I just can't imagine how wearing something
that cuts into you like that can be comfortable. How wearing something
NOT designed to fit women's hips can feel *good* to wear..
I just can't figure out if they are really accepting themselves, or are
just terrible slaves to a dreadful fashion. And yet.... despite the fact
that some part of me is pleased that women might be feeling more
comfortable in their bodies, I keep praying for that prescient child who
will tell all these Empresses that THEY HAVE NO CLOTHES!
I keep praying for the Seventies to END AGAIN, so we can dump hipster
pants, bell-bottom jeans, that heinous cheap polyester, and hippie-style
clothing designed for heroin addict-figures.
Of course, there will be some detractors out there saying that I am just
complaining because I must not look good in those styles - but that
isn't the point. As Kevin so aptly pointed out, NOBODY except those
women who still have pre-pubescent figures, can fit in those pants.
Regardless of what something looks like on me, it has to be comfortable
to wear and fit reasonably well. I have normally proportioned adult
female body, that I quite enjoy. I will not cram it into something that was meant to be worn
by a Teenage boy.
heartlessly,
-Natalie
1.MACLEANS - May 26, 2003, "Understanding Gender: Boy vs Girl"
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