ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY CONTEST - Ron's Most Memorable Bad Date Dialogue

Her: Do you want children?

Me: I've never wanted children.

Her: You'd make a great father!

Me: I've always thought that the first prerequisite to being a good parent is really and truly *wanting* to be a parent, which disqualifies me immediately, even before all the personal, political, environmental, and social reasons I could manufacture after the fact for not wanting children.

Her: Oh, pshaw! Some woman just needs to trick you into having children and you'll love it and be a great father!

Me (not out loud, sadly): "Mental note: NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE SEX WITH THIS WOMAN."

Pretty much the end of that date.