ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY CONTEST - Bonnie's "Shortest Date"
It was a warm Summer's evening in balmy Louisiana and I was new to the
area having just recently moved there on a temporary basis while
I waited for the College Semester to begin. Unfortunately I didn't know
anyone, however, I had the fortune of getting fixed up by Renee, the
daughter of the woman my father was dating. Renee decided
to fix me up with a guy she knew that was single, supposedly cute and
reportedly a nice guy.
I spent my sweet time getting ready for my date and when I was
done getting all gussied up, my date arrived to pick me up and go out.
Being the gentleman he was, he knocked on the door and was in the
process of escorting me to his car, when he politely asked me, "So how do
you like living here?" At the time, I was living in my father's 3 bedroom
trailer while I worked for a few months before moving out of State to attend
College. I looked him dead in the face and said, "Oh, I like it alright,
a bit hot, but the woman that runs this park is a Bitch". Understand that
I did not mean Bitch after the Heartless Bitch Fashion, I meant
old-bitty of a nit-picking, annoying and generally out to make everyone's
life miserable, because she's an unhappy old woman, Bitch.
My blind date turned to me and looked me dead in the eyes and said, "She's my Grandmother".
At which point, I did not skip a beat, but replied, "Nice to meet you, have a Good Night".
Then I turned around without
saying another word and walked back into the house and shut the door.
I never spoke to or saw him again, and that, Bitches, was that,
me at a my Bitch-ling age of 18 yrs old.
I think my date had to be the shortest in history considering it lasted
from the door to the car which was less than 5 ft away.
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